Having a Life-giving Household
Households are small pastoral groupings of members. They are
essential to the life and mission of our community. They are
where members are cared for, and where members continue to
grow in the Lord.
A household is led by a leader assigned to it. However, every
member of the household needs to take responsibility for the
good conduct of the household, and help ensure that it becomes
life-giving for everyone. If there is anything amiss, household
members should speak up and discuss the problem, and together,
under the direction of the leader, take steps to change the
situation. The leader, being a servant, must be open and even
desirous of such inputs, as a way of ensuring that the household
members themselves find the household life-giving.
What makes for a life-giving household? First
are the technical aspects.
It must be regular. Household meetings are never cancelled,
unless getting to the meeting becomes physically impossible,
such as in the case of flooding.
must be on time. There is an arrival time, and there
is a starting time, about 15 to 30 minutes after.
Members should strive to be at the meeting venue at
the arrival time. This gives some leeway to unexpected
traffic. If one arrives early, then all the better,
so that there is some fellowship time. One does not
arrive and immediately jump into the worship portion.
Further, the meeting should start on time at the agreed
on starting time, or at most just 5 or 10 minutes
later, even if not everyone has arrived.
must have the three basic ingredients of worship,
discussion/sharing and fellowship. It must follow
the prescribed times for each aspect. Worship is about
30 minutes, discussion/sharing is for one hour, fellowship
is for 30 minutes to an hour. Overall it should be
from two to three hours.
must NOT become a service meeting.
There are other designated times for service meetings.
must end on time, and not too late in the evening
(if it is on an evening). A household meeting certainly
should not spill over into the next day (that is,
all the above, the household leader must be the one to ensure
these happen. Members who violate the above must be reminded
and encouraged. If they continue to do so, they must be corrected
Secondly, what makes for a life-giving household is the fraternal
aspect. The household members are brothers and sisters in
Christ. They are journeying together along the path of Christ,
which is the way of holiness. They have a responsibility,
as they themselves grow in the Lord, to help the others grow
A relationship as brethren in Christ can mean a number of
is a relationship of love. Household members are to
love each other as Christ has loved them.
is fraternal correction. Such is not just left to the
household leader, but everyone else takes responsibility
to correct whatever is amiss.
is a relationship of friendship. Household members should
desire to grow in their friendships and to the ties
that bind. It should be such that they look forward
to being together for the household meeting, and eagerly
is a relationship of loyalty. Household members guard
their hearts from anger, resentment or the like. If
there is any personal problem, it is resolved quickly.
is a relationship of trust. Household members trust
each other enough to become vulnerable, such that they
can openly share their lives, especially their challenges
and shortcomings. The principle of confidentiality
is to be strictly observed.
what makes for a life-giving household is the pastoral
aspect. We have households so that we will grow in the Lord.
The household, normally being held in the church that is the
home, is a school of spirituality.
Thus a number of elements are important.
should be alive and vibrant. Household members must
participate actively in the singing and the prayers.
They should be open to receiving and sharing the word
from the Lord. They must have the faith to know that
they are in the presence of Jesus, and accord him the
praise and worship that is his due.
should be serious discussion and sharing. Normally
the men meet separately from the women.
the first year, the discussions follow a specific
track, based on the teaching courses that are
the succeeding years, there is flexibility as
to content. It can be Bible sharing, personal
sharing, or discussion of a particular topic.
discussion of topics, there are many resources
available in the Church. In particular, the books
and writings of the Servant General are suggested
topics to be taken up.
household leader must strive to be a true servant
since the household meeting is basically a spiritual
activity, there is the needed spiritual preparation. All members
of the household, especially the leader, should spend some
time, before arriving at the household venue, praying to God
about the meeting.
God to bind any spirits that are not of Him, and to
send His angels to stand guard along your way and over
for wisdom and discernment.
for the grace by which every member of the household
will be joyful and loving.
are many life-giving elements in community. There is our personal
prayer and Bible reading. There are the many teachings, formation
tracks, and leaders training. There are the assemblies and
other activities. But the household is unique in that the
receivers are also the givers, and vice versa. The household
is thus the basic cell of community--for formation, for fraternal
relationships, for moving the whole community forward.
(SG. Dec 15, 2009)
 When someone is late, he often says it is because of the
traffic. Indeed there was traffic, but if you ask him what
time he left his home, you will see that he left already late.
 Unless it is just a time for fellowship, which normally
happens once a quarter.
 If there is an urgent need, the fellowship portion can
be turned into a service meeting.
 For example, 8pm to 11pm. If members can meet earlier
and end earlier, all the better.
 When it is already the time of fellowship, those who need
to leave earlier than the rest should feel free to do so.
 While the household leader is the basic pastor, every
member, sharing in the priestly ministry of Christ, ministers
to everyone else.
 It is not necessary to bare all secrets.
 This is very important. Only in rare times should the
men meet together with the women for this portion. This is
basically so that the men will grow together as men of God,
and the women as women of God. Men and women have different
needs, and different dynamics in relationships. Further, this
allows them to take up different topics for discussion and
 Let your other “bible” be the book Servant